Christmas is all wrong

I haven’t written anything on here in awhile but I thought with the holiday coming up, I could link up last year’s Christmas post and tell you whether or not I’ve changed my mind.  Last year’s post was something to the effect of how Christmas isn’t about presents and how I want so badly to tell people not to get me anything and I won’t get you anything – but we’ll drink and be merry together…you know, how you should be all year with people you love and care about.

Whether or not I’ve changed my mind?  You’re goddamn right I haven’t changed my mind.  I really wish I could find last year’s post so I could link it here…if anybody stumbles upon it, let me know.

Let me explain what it takes for me to go through Christmas in timeline form.

Around Thanksgiving, I’m having a blast because there’s food and family and no presents to buy.  This year’s Thanksgiving was great…tons of family and it felt like we were all reconnecting in a way we haven’t done since the few divorces and fights in the family.  When it ended, I thought about Christmas.  A deep grumble happened in my stomach and can you guess the first place I went to plan for this Christmas season?  Not the attic that stores our decorations.  Not Gmail to email family/friends and figure out availabilities.  I went to USAA to check my account balance and groan that it’s going to be a tight one.  I then opened up Evernote and figured out how much money I could spend on each person.  I signed up for deals websites.  I signed up for Amazon’s lightning deals on twitter.  Then?  I forgot about Christmas.  It didn’t like me right then so I didn’t like it.

December 17th, the last day of online shopping where most retailers won’t deliver by the 25th, I didn’t shop.  I had the entire day off too…I didn’t really care.  It was a burden to me.  I’m pretty sure I was still clinging to the idea that nobody would get me anything and I didn’t have to get anybody anything.  I could show up to parties empty handed, right?

December 18th, reality kicked in.  I said “oh shit I have to go to the mall.”  It’s probably way too late to tell people not to get me anything.  I went to the mall, but bringing a girl grounded me a little.  She definitely kept my sanity longer than I would have alone.  When we got to the mall, I couldn’t find a parking spot anywhere.  I was angry before I even stepped foot into a store.  BULLSHIT! THIS ISN’T REALLY CHRISTMAS, IS IT!?!?

In the mall, places were crowded with fat people.  I’d imagine they had the entire day of shopping strategically planned to hit deals and had lists of what they were going to get people.  I had no list.  I was unprepared.  I was surrounded by two types of people; slow people and desperately slow people.  The heat started to get to me and I was sweating in my hoodie and jacket.  I needed a cigarette.

I lasted as long as I could and that was at 3 or 4 stores before I gave up.  I didn’t know what to get anybody, my legs hurt and I couldn’t take the people anymore.  I left with a few items and the thought that I’d have to eventually go back there anyway.  Gaaaaaaaaaah.

Two days went by and I decided I’d invite the same girl that went with me, because I’d never make it otherwise.  I was an hour late meeting her at the mall because of traffic on the thruway.  Again, I was angry at the world before I even got to the mall.  I parked in the same area I parked last time just to avoid frustration trying to find a good spot.  This time, I wasn’t messing around.  I said the name of who I needed a gift for and browsed the first suggestion the girl I was with gave.  Gifts were being purchased at record speed.  Eventually, I ran out of money on one card and we left with 1 gift still having to be bought.

Luckily, the check I had cashed a few days prior went through on Christmas Eve, and I was able to go out to Target, then Gamestop…which took 2 hours.

Now, it’s the 27th.  Everything is over and I’ve decided I’m never going to procrastinate shopping ever again.  Even if I do and gifts won’t get to me in time, I’m going to say they haven’t shipped yet so deal with it.  I’m never going through Christmas shopping in a store again.

In terms of what Christmas is really all about…I think I did a better job.  I prolonged my stays at each visit and talked to family members I usually don’t talk to.  I learned a lot about them…and I even broke my Grandpa’s shell.  He rarely talks but we talked for almost an hour.  I probably should have been doing that all year long, but if it takes Christmas to remind people to do that, then maybe it’s not all that bad of a holiday.

Got some pretty sweet presents in the meantime too.